Yeah so.. I haven’t been on my low restriction thingy as I’ve planned. So I’m giving myself the last chance tomorrow to start eating no more than 600 a day. That means I should be somewhere at a decent weight by the Easter. Thank you losertown, you are the most trustworthy.

I’ve ordered some fake fibre pasta and other stuff for 20 pounds and my account is crying. I’m not ok.

I also feel so lonely. Like desperately. This disorder consumed me and now I’m living without any social life or interests. Only my ED.

I need a friend :’/

It’s 9 am. Woke up at 1.30 and later at around 5. It sucks.

And my restriction is frustrating also. Without food I can’t be ok. I had 630 so far but now I’m already waiting for tomorrow to have food again. I don’t care for the rest of this day, I have nothing to look forward to.

I can’t stop thinking about chocolate but I also want to be thin. I don’t know.

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So I kind of failed. Ate 1500.

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It is around 6 right now. Pm. Feeling bad. Very. Got a Pepsi earlier. Test was fairly fine.

I’m just remembering the older times with people that I used to spend them with. But I don’t miss them. It breaks my heart a bit that they were my friends but it wasnt a good relationship. Now I’m lonely but at least not with someone who’s projecting their insecurities on me.

I hope I’ll fix my eating. Don’t know about the low restriction but will try to eat “healthier”, like veggies n stuff and cut out sweets. And Pepsi.

It is 8 am, woke up at 5.30.

I had a soup, some bread and a small packet of crisps. All totalling to 519c.

Now, I have only one lecture today. I’m going to go and tap in but I’ll skip it. I’ll head to the expensive local store to get my cherry flavoured Pepsi Max.

But before all of this, I would like to take a nice shower. However, do you think I’ll succeed? My roommates alarm just went off, it is very annoying. I know she will occupy the bathroom for long so I have to hurry up. She takes a shower at least twice per day.

Overall, it’s a rather boring period of my life. I’m happy that the spring is coming.

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It is now later a bit. Still 3 hours until my lecture. I’ve spent this whole time in bed. I might go to get my Pepsi now. Or maybe I’ll wait.

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So I went to the store and got my Pepsi. Walked around a bit, it’s nice weather but windy.

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It’s now past 3pm. Got back maybe an hour ago, brought my 2nd Pepsi max. Took a different route this time. It’s sunny and nice but I’m lonely.